Take My Breath- Chapter 2 (and edited Chapter 1)

Hey there here is Chpater 2 and also edited Chapter 1 if you have not read it, you may also like to read the Prologue before reading this, feedback etc. is appreciated thankks

CHAPTER 1

It began for me, I think -my memory may be slightly impaired by all this alcohol I have been comforting myself with, plus the fact that my memory has never been good anyway- as all good stories don't begin, in a boring-as-hell R.E lesson. Our indescribably boring teacher was going on about some old religion or another and posing questions to the class, that had 'neither a right or wrong answer'. The thing I never understood about these questions was when one of the class answered, they were usually -although not told directly- wrong, and had to be lectured by the teacher to understand the 'correct' answer. Pointless ey?!

Most things in life are pointless, I have realised in recent years. I use religion as an example. I have nothing wrong with people believing in a God, but to me all it is is lots of 'clubs' trying to gain as many followers as possible to worship something or somebody that they have never, and probably never will, see. The fallout from all these religions is pointless as well. Holy Wars, persecution, terrorism -debatable, I know- of all kinds, and social segregation. I'm drifting away from my tale, I know, but I want this to be a personal account, and to do that, I feel I have to air my views etc. (and mostly because I keep forgetting the main story!!!)

Anyway, enough with the bullshitting -my written thoughts are more jumbled than most people general thoughts in their head- and on with my life. The lesson was hot and boring, and I wasn't listening to a single thing the teacher was saying- like the rest of the class, I reckon- because my mind was focused on something else much more important than some ol' religion who I don't care about. Have a guess. What thoughts run amok through a teenage boy's mind more than any other thing? Yep, you guessed right. A girl. But this was not just any ol' gal, this was one of the fittest girls in our year- and one of the nicest, come to think of it- and I was about to ask her out. I planned to do it after school today, as I'm not in any of her Thursday lessons. She had been making all the right signals to me- we'd been flirting and chatting for a long time- plus all of my mates and her mates were egging me on to ask her out. Although, it must be said, she must have far more friends that me. Bored, and consumed in thought, I glanced around the room to see Oli, one of my best mates- probably my best mate- trying to catch my eye.

He raised his eyebrows in that comical expression of his, when he arches his eyebrows in different directions. I can never help but snigger whenever he uses it. He followed on with a complicated hand gesture involving a heart and sexual references, at which I nodded whilst trying to contain my laughter. It was one of the main reasons I liked him, his infallible ability to make you laugh, especially when it was needed most. Most other people see him as very immature, and I suppose he is in a way, but he doesn’t seem like that to me. Maybe that’s because deep down, no matter how many friends we have, we are both outsiders at heart. Separate from the rest of the crowd. Segregated.

Mr. Mardo caught my eye and saw the expression on my face instantly.

“Donald,” he began, placing extra emphasis on my first name, the name I loathed with the utmost hatred. I mean, come on, how could a parent do that to a child, how could they name him, or more especially me, Donald? It’s alright though, anyone who knows me calls me either Don or the occasional Donnie. I like those names, at least, one hell of a lot better than fucking Donald!!!

“Would you please concentrate on the board at the front please, instead of making sexual gestures to your boyfriend whilst I am teaching.” Mr. Mardo continued, drawing titters from the class, like he knew it would.

Everyone knows that Oli is gay, it was just one of those things. No-one minded it, people mostly accepted him, I ignored it most of the time, and girls, well they loved it! I rolled my eyes and turned back to look at the board at the front, sneaking a quick glance at the clock, which told me that school was over in just 10 minutes!

Butterflies began to start doing summersaults and backflips inside my stomach. I was extremely nervous, nope scratch that, I was literally peeing myself as I started to imagine asking her (or to use her actual name- Rose) out. What if she said no and all her friends laughed at me? What if I made a complete fool of myself?

Just then, the bell went, it’s pierce ringing startling me out of my thoughts. As we began to pack away, Oli tapped me on my shoulder.

“Good luck mate” he said to me jovially. “Try not to make a complete fool of yourself now!”

If I hadn’t been nervous then, I really was nervous now. I punched him on the arm to make him know that I appreciated his support, before moving out the classroom. Withing the jotling crowds of students struggling to get out of school, I caught the eye of Gemma, Roses’ best friend. She winked at me whilst a cheeky little smile, and I grimaced back. If I got turned down this would be sooo embarrassing it would be unbelievable. I made it outside of the school building and down by the buses stood Rose. My heart, which was already beating fairly heavily, went into overdrive and I thought I was going to have a heart attack!

As I came up to her she turned and saw me;

“Oh hi Don,” she said, smiling at me.

Now I really was wetting myself!

“Hi,” I said nervously “I was… I was wondering if you…if you wanna go to the cinema with me next weekend?” Oh god, I thought, I’ve made a right idiot out of myself.

“Sure,” she replied, sounding very pleased that I’d asked her.

Only know did I realise that I had actually been working myself up for failure, to be rejected. And now she had not only accepted, but sounded pleased to accept my offer!

“Well,” I said, my mouth drying up. “I’ll see you then then”

“Guess so.” She replied, a twinkle in her eyes and a grin on her face.

YESSSSS!



I was practically bouncing as I walked home that day, more out of relief than anything that I hadn’t been humiliated- anything but! As if the weather was reflecting my mood, the sky was sunny, with only faint wisps of clouds floating lazily along in the sky. It had been warm enough for me to take my blazer off, and I was whistling as I strolled down my road.

As I passed the neat, ordinary houses of the middle-class citizens who lived in my street, I happened to spot my Dad’s car in the driveway. Nothing odd about that, you might think, but to me it was very odd indeed! He was never home from work before 8 o’clock in the evening, such were the long hours of his finance job. Often he went away from long periods of time as well, so generally I never saw much of him during the week, although I’m not complaining, because the job paid pretty damn well!

That really should have set alarms off in my head then, but I didn’t really think much of it, happy as I was, and I saw it as a pleasant surprise that Dad was home early for a change. As I got to my house, big and grand, the showpiece of the road, a quick route through my pockets revealed that I had once again left my keys at home- as per normal. No problem, I thought to myself, Dad can open the door for me. However, once I got to the front door, I noticed that there would be no need to ring the doorbell for Dad, because the door was already half-open.

Now I really was I intrigued. Why would Dad be home early and leave the door open (which he is always telling us not to do!) Dismissing these thoughts as just a coincidence, I pushed the door open further, and stepped into my house.

As soon as I got in, I could hear raised voices coming from the living room. Not unusual though, because Mum and Dad were always arguing whenever they were in the same room together for long enough. However, I could hear two male voices, one of them maybe Dad’s, instead of Mum’s very feminine voice. There was also a quite sobbing in the background, stopping and starting now and then.

I pushed the porch door open, and creeped down the hall. What was going on? The door open, Dad home and two men shouting in the living room? Something was definitely up. BANG! Suddenly a loud gunshot went off.

I was shocked, not just by the sudden noise, but by the fact that a GUNSHOT had been fired in my house. It didn’t happen. Not in your normal, average, middle class household. It just didn’t. It was almost immediately followed by the sound of sobbing increasing dramatically. Stupidly, and blindly, I ran along the hallway, pushed the door open, and stepped into hell.

CHAPTER 2

I should never have entered the living room that day. Looking back in hindsight, I should have run at the sound of the gunshot, never looking back. However, that day I did go into the living room, and I did have to deal with what I saw; an extraordinary, no scratch that, horrific scene.

Mum was kneeling on the floor of the living room. I could see that it was her that had been sobbing. Next to her, lying on the floor was Dad, Callum (my older brother), and Jess(my younger sister). And only now I realised what the gunshot, which had clearly not been the first, entailed. They had a bullet wound in their head and they were dead. Still, cold and lifeless. And now the gun was aimed at Mum.

Screaming with grief and rage, I hurled myself at the two assailants, who were both about 6 foot and dressed head to toe in black. I had to stop the bloodshed, if only to enable Mum to survive. She didn’t deserve this, no-one did or does.

The murderer not aiming his gun swore as I came at him, cursing the unwanted complication to his evil plans. That is what he was, pure evil in my eyes, and I was going to stop him! But the truth of the situation showed, I was a 15 year old boy, and he was a fully grown and professionally trained man. I stood no chance as he picked me up into a lock and dragged me away as the last gunshot rang out. The sobbing was silenced.

I was howling now, screaming, kicking, biting, anything to get this creature off me, this creature who had taken my parents away from me. I got him in the balls, and his grip relaxed. I burst free, spun around and made for the still open door. I heard some more swearing behind me, and I knew that he was on my tail. I had no wish to suffer the same fate as my family at that point, so I was running on fear. I. Didn’t. Want. To. Die.

I was out the door now. I turned and ran down my street. Crying. Tears was pouring down my face. I kept running. Quick glance behind me showed that the murderer was not catching me. Still kept running. Round the corner. Up the hill. No sight of him now. I slowed down. Legs give up on me. I fall to the floor.

My

family

is

dead.

This is some mistake- surely this can’t be happening to me. I’m sobbing into the pavement now, curled up into a ball, like some stray pet. Pictures of the scene I have just witnessed flash through my head, unwanted, but I can’t block them out. Mum, Dad, Jess, Callum, Death, Gun, The Men. The reality I don’t think has sunk in yet, that I will never ever see them again. I haven’t thought why this has happened to me and more importantly my family, it hasn’t even crossed my mind, my brain is in meltdown, like it can’t cope with what has just happened it won’t accept it as the truth.

I lay there for what seemed like days, weeks, months, years, but in reality was only a few hours until I realised it was now dark, and more importantly, cold. The shock had now started to recede, which was almost worse, because it left me with the cold hard truth of the matter. It was so hard just to write that down now, it still rips a hole in my heart every time I think about it, so this is the one and only time I will mention it, in fact I will just refer to it as The Event, just to keep it clear.

Now the grief that was inside me had faded, just slightly, throbbing hard in the background, to be replaced by rage, rage at those two bastard murderers, and what they had done to my family, what they had done to me, I wish I had let them finish me as well, because the question now is, am I better off having escaped death? I mean normally I would say that is a definite yes, but now, now I have to carry on living knowing that I am alone, my family has gone, carrying that burden everyday, is that worse than death? I dunno.

This, I feel, was my darkest moment, you know, looking back on it from where I am now, just writing that shit down makes me feel down, but you have to understand – well I hope you do from what I’ve showed I’ve gone through- that my brain, my mind was all over the place there, having witnessed what I had just witnessed, man can you blame me? I just feel that you know, if someone were to read this then I’ve justified my thoughts to them, ‘cos I want the full Truth about Me to come out in this account, and I don’t wanna get it all confused. I don’t think now my mind has really un-jumbled itself, it is only beginning to as we approach the end, the finale, the grand climax, that I can final see the full picture spread out in front of me like a finished painting, and only now can I appreciate the full complexities of the situation. If only I could have seen that painting then, maybe I would have made different choices? Anyway, I massively digress.

Finally, when the dark had fallen upon my world and my rage had cooled, not completely , but had cooled from a raging inferno to simmering embers, I was able to peel myself off the ground and think about what to do. And that is a big question, I mean What. To. Do? Mere hours ago The Event occurred and I witnessed unimaginable horrors, and now I have to actually THINK what to do, where to go, who to go to? Well at least the who I think is obvious to me. I mean I have to go the police, they are the ones who can deal with this, and sort this out for me, find the killers, and put them away (being a bit optimistic here). I pat my pockets down to look for my phone, mainly so I can see the time, but I can’t feel it! It must have fallen out when I was running, fleeing for my life, away from the bastard murderers. Damn!

However, that did not matter too much, because I had a goal, a place to go. I had to get into town, because town meant the police station, and police station meant policemen, they would help. That was all my mind could take at that point, one single objective block everything- all my family is dead NO NO NO DON’T THINK ABOUT IT- else out for the meantime.

It really was quite dark by the time I started the fairly short (about ten minutes) walk into town, the sort of time of the day where everything takes on a more ominous look, such as houses become large, cold, still foreboding shapes that could contain anything, with the occasional light on in a window providing a small glimpse of what each house contained within it, a separate microcosm of life that was unaffected by my plight. And why should they be? It did not affect them and they were not aware of it, so why it should it protrude of their lives?

Added to that, the dark night was not helping my current state of mind, affected as it was by The Event that every dark recess seemed to be housing one of the murderers, every small noise was the sound of them catching up with me, creeping up behind me and waiting to take my life too BLOCK IT FROM YOUR MIND IGNORE IT DON’T THINK DON’T THINK DON’T THINK.

Town.

Police Station.

Policemen.

That is all I needed to think about, all I needed to occupy my brain.

The darkness slowly gave way to the bright orange street lights as I approached the main hub of town. Well I say town, but that is a bit of an over-exaggeration, given that it was a small market town, containing a couple of convenience stores, up-market shops, and way too many pubs. And of course , a small police station that ain’t never heard of anything like what I am about to tell ‘em.

A few minutes walk took me into the centre of town, passing people leaving pubs and walking (sometimes drunkenly home) some of them giving me fairly weird looks, so I assume I am in a bad state at this point in time. Towards the end of the road sits the police station, and I notice that half way down the road hangs a group of youths, you know the sort, that every town has, who drink smoke and behave like ‘yobs’ etc. And they were walking up the road, towards me. I mean I had no problem with them or anything, but considering the current state of me at the moment, I had no desire to run into them or have anything to do with them. So I ducked into the Tesco next to me, and stood by the entrance until they had walked past. Cowardly I know, but I just don’t think I could face making any small talk with them at all or them being all lairy with me (like they usually are on a night out.)

That moment of potential awkwardness/fear avoided I scurried down the rest of the street towards the police station. I still however was not sure what I would actually do when I got to the police station, all I knew was that it was a place that I had to go to, the only place I could really think of going to.

As I approached the police station, something happened that chilled me to my very bones, froze me, rooted me to the spot in shock. Out of the station stepped a man who I had only seen a few hours ago, at the time of The Event OH SHIT OH SHIT DON’T THINK ABOUT IT- IT CAN’T BE HIM, CAN’T BE CAN IT? OH SHIT IT IS albeit this time glad in standard police uniform, but the very same man NO DON’T THINK IT, BLOCK IF FROM YOUR MIND- the very same man that had NO NO NO ;

The very same man that had killed my entire family only a few hours ago!